I’d like to think that while growing up,regardless of where in the world we find ourselves,each of us has certain factors that influence our personalities and shape the way we see ourselves the older we become. That’s why some people are extroverts and others are introverts,some ooze loads of confidence and others struggle with low self esteem.
Although I personally am not completely useless at social events or gatherings I would definitely put myself down as more of an introvert than a extrovert and low self esteem is something I’ve struggled with my whole life.
Now some might ask why. I’d like to think that 2 factors stand out above others and have shaped me into the person I am today. If you’ve read some of my previous posts you’ll know that I was really fat as a kid,so my weight has always been an issue. The other factor is that i am blind in one eye. It might not seem a big deal to others but to me it has played a huge role in how I see myself in the present day.
It’s been so long that I have no recollection of ever seeing out my left eye. I do know that around 5 years of age doctors found some sort of tumour on my optical nerve and decided the best course of action was to operate on it which left me unable to see our the eye. Not to seem ungrateful,being able to see out of just one eye,is better than having no sight at all.
It’s something I’ve come to terms with the older I’ve become but as a kid it did little for my confidence. The stares I received just caused me to withdraw more and more into my own world. I spent hours getting lost in books and television. I guessed it was a way of me escaping the real world and the people in it.
So throughout the years I’ve always been very self conscious of the way I look. One sign of confidence is when people look you in the eyes when talking to you and that’s something I never did. I still don’t to be honest.
My family and my few friends have accepted me the way I am but I still struggle in going out and meeting new people. I guess it’s one of the main reasons why I’m still single. We all know that confidence is an attractive quality and if you feel good about yourself than you bound to attract people to you.
I guess it’s true what they say. What you project into the world is what actually happens. Project positive energy and a positive state of mind and good things are bound to happen while if you’re negative than negative things will almost certainly happen. Anyone will tell you its not fun being around someone that is permanently negative and nobody is going to love you if you don’t love yourself first.
What I’m trying to say is that even though I might not see myself in a positive way I am aware of it and am trying to change that aspect of my life. I’m trying to better myself. I was made unique and even though I might have many imperfections I’d like to think I also have many great qualities that make me pretty special.
So,in summing it up,all I’d like to say is that it doesn’t matter if you’re the confident type or one that has a low self esteem. We should never allow any factor to stop us attempting to be the best possible version of ourselves. Recognise that each one of us are different and that not all journeys are the same. We should never be competing with the Jones’s. The only person that we should be in competition with is ourselves and that each day we should try be a better person than the last.
Please feel free to drop a comment if you agree with me or even if you have suggestions on how I can improve on my confidence and how I see myself. I am open to suggestions.
Till the next time. Ciao