Tired….

Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. Spiritually. TIRED. My whole being is tired. My soul is tired. I don’t know quiet how to explain it. I might be on the way to a burnout. One thing I know for sure is that I need a break. 

I don’t know if any of you reading this has experienced something similar but all I know is that something has got to give. I guess the easiest thing to do would be to blame everything and everyone for how I’m feeling. 

The only problem with doing that is I know I would be lying to myself. The only person I can blame for finding myself in this situation is me. I’ve allowed myself to get caught up in this same old boring rut that I know as my life and have done absolutely nothing to change it. 

Do I work a lot? Let’s just say I’m at work a lot. I’m by no means the hardest working person out there but I spend a great deal of time at work. I usually spend a minimum of 6 days of the week at work and every now and then even 7. I get 1 weekend a month off. 

Do I get vacations? Sure if i wanted to. Unfortunately the last holiday i was on was in 2011 when i went to England and Madeira. Now this will sound really stupid but it’s all my own fault. I’ve had numerous chances to go on holidays but have simply chosen not to. I’m a bit of an anomaly in that, yes I am a loner, but I like to have company around me. In other words I’m not the type of person that would go on holiday alone. In that case I would prefer to stay at home and just continue working. So work is not really to blame. 

As for my personal life its not much better. Due to the amount of time spent at work I don’t spend a great deal of time at home. I spend even less time socialising. The fact that I’m a bit of a loner obviously doesn’t help when it comes to meeting new people. I’m most comfortable sitting at home doing nothing. 

Does it surprise me than that I’m single? Absolutely not. Sitting at home is going to make sure I have zero chance of meeting new people and potential partners unless she happens to be a pizza delivery lady or something similar. Again I’ve had countless opportunities to go out and meet new people but I simply don’t. I sometimes can’t even muster up the energy to go to the cinema with friends. 

I’ve ignored the warning signs of a burnout for a long time but it’s finally dawned on me why things never change in my life. 

I have to take responsibility for my actions which affect my life. Blaming my circumstances around me and the people around me will not help. We can’t just coast through life doing nothing and than expect things to go our way. You can’t climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets. 

For me it means that I have to force myself to take more time off work. I have to learn to be more comfortable being by myself. Go on holidays by myself. If i want to meet new people it means that staying home is no longer going to be good enough. The world presents us with so many opportunities each and every day but we tend to not see them. 

My negative mindset has to change. If I can do this than it will have a massive impact on my life. So I’ve taken the first step in admitting that I’m to blame for my current situation. Being content with the status quo had got to go. Hopefully I can find the courage within to keep on working on improving myself and move forward. 

Do any of you have thoughts on how I can overcome this tiredness I feel and how I can go about changing things. Please feel free to drop me a message. Life is tough. Let’s try help each other along this journey. 
Till next time. Ciao


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