Tired….

Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. Spiritually. TIRED. My whole being is tired. My soul is tired. I don’t know quiet how to explain it. I might be on the way to a burnout. One thing I know for sure is that I need a break. 

I don’t know if any of you reading this has experienced something similar but all I know is that something has got to give. I guess the easiest thing to do would be to blame everything and everyone for how I’m feeling. 

The only problem with doing that is I know I would be lying to myself. The only person I can blame for finding myself in this situation is me. I’ve allowed myself to get caught up in this same old boring rut that I know as my life and have done absolutely nothing to change it. 

Do I work a lot? Let’s just say I’m at work a lot. I’m by no means the hardest working person out there but I spend a great deal of time at work. I usually spend a minimum of 6 days of the week at work and every now and then even 7. I get 1 weekend a month off. 

Do I get vacations? Sure if i wanted to. Unfortunately the last holiday i was on was in 2011 when i went to England and Madeira. Now this will sound really stupid but it’s all my own fault. I’ve had numerous chances to go on holidays but have simply chosen not to. I’m a bit of an anomaly in that, yes I am a loner, but I like to have company around me. In other words I’m not the type of person that would go on holiday alone. In that case I would prefer to stay at home and just continue working. So work is not really to blame. 

As for my personal life its not much better. Due to the amount of time spent at work I don’t spend a great deal of time at home. I spend even less time socialising. The fact that I’m a bit of a loner obviously doesn’t help when it comes to meeting new people. I’m most comfortable sitting at home doing nothing. 

Does it surprise me than that I’m single? Absolutely not. Sitting at home is going to make sure I have zero chance of meeting new people and potential partners unless she happens to be a pizza delivery lady or something similar. Again I’ve had countless opportunities to go out and meet new people but I simply don’t. I sometimes can’t even muster up the energy to go to the cinema with friends. 

I’ve ignored the warning signs of a burnout for a long time but it’s finally dawned on me why things never change in my life. 

I have to take responsibility for my actions which affect my life. Blaming my circumstances around me and the people around me will not help. We can’t just coast through life doing nothing and than expect things to go our way. You can’t climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets. 

For me it means that I have to force myself to take more time off work. I have to learn to be more comfortable being by myself. Go on holidays by myself. If i want to meet new people it means that staying home is no longer going to be good enough. The world presents us with so many opportunities each and every day but we tend to not see them. 

My negative mindset has to change. If I can do this than it will have a massive impact on my life. So I’ve taken the first step in admitting that I’m to blame for my current situation. Being content with the status quo had got to go. Hopefully I can find the courage within to keep on working on improving myself and move forward. 

Do any of you have thoughts on how I can overcome this tiredness I feel and how I can go about changing things. Please feel free to drop me a message. Life is tough. Let’s try help each other along this journey. 
Till next time. Ciao


The INGREDIENTS that make up GREATNESS…

Conor ‘ The Notorius’ McGregor vs Floyd ‘ Money Mayweather. This fight, happening August 26 in Las Vegas, between UFC’s biggest star and one of boxing all time greats has captured the public’s imagination and is currently one of the hottest trending topics worldwide. It is being touted as the biggest ever combat sports event with both fighters rumoured to be earning in excess of $100 million each. 

These fighters are considered by many to be once in a lifetime fighters in their respective sports. ‘ONCE IN A LIFETIME’. Now that is a massive statement to make about anyone and it got me thinking about how, not just these two but in all types of sport,certain sports stars have made the leap from being talented athletes to being rated as the best ever.

Michael Jordan

Wayne Gretzky

Muhammad Ali 

Roger Federer 

Pele

Being a bit of a sports nut I know that in all sports there are usually one or two players that are regarded as being the very best in that discipline. From Michael Jordan(basketball) to Wayne Gretzky(ice hockey) to Muhammad Ali(boxing) and Roger Federer (tennis) and Pele(soccer) to name but a few,these are all stars that are synonymous with their sport and are regarded as the very best in their field.  

So what does it take to become an icon and achieve immortal greatness you may ask? In my humble opinion there are 5 key ingredients that separates the good from the great.

   1 ■ HARD WORK. Sure, a God given talent is the foundation of every athlete but as many have found out, talent alone does not make one great. Hard work, and more specifically, the ability to work harder than their nearest rivals is the key. If someone is honing their skill for 6 or 7 hours a day they got to put in 9 and 10 hours to be better. 

2 ■ SELF BELIEF. This to me is probably the most important of them all. It is believing in their ability and talent 110%. It is not allowing any naysayer or anyone that doubts them to influence their thoughts.

3 ■ VISUALISATION. This goes hand in hand with number 2. Being able to visualise themselves achieving their goals is key. I’m a firm believer in the law of attraction. In other words what you believe, what thoughts you project is what you will attract to yourself. Be negative in anyway and nothing positive will ever come your way. Visualise greatness and you’ll definitely see positive things. It is something that Conor Mcgregor,for example,has managed to do this brilliantly. How else do you explain someone,that only 5 years ago was collecting welfare cheques all of a sudden headlining the biggest ever combat sports eventin history?

4 ■ HANDLING SETBACKS. Believe it or not but even the very best experience setbacks. They’re not machines even though at times it seems like it. If I may, let me use this famous quote from the movie Rocky Balboa. ‘… You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done! … ‘ This explains exactly what separates the normal from the great. 

5 ■ AMBITION & DRIVE. The very best always have a drive and ambition to be the very best. They are never satisfied with just winning. They want to completely dominate. For them being second is simply not good enough. They are self motivated to keep on achieving. It’s something that I personally think can’t be learned or taught. You’re either born with it or not.

Looking at these ingredients it is obvious to see that even though I might never become an elite athlete or sports star i can still learn some lessons from it. On the quest to become the best me I can,I know that if I’m able to incorporate these points I’ll be one step closer to my goal. 

I don’t believe that anyone of us were born to be mediocre. So let’s learn from the very best in sports and apply the same ingredients in our life so that we too can achieve greatness. 

Please feel free to share your thoughts on this and let me know whether you agree or not. I look forward to hearing from all of you. 

Till a next time. Ciao

P.S My money is on Conor Mcgregor to cause the biggest upset in sports history and beat Floyd Mayweather 

P


Nice guys do INDEED finish last…

Bold statement to some,truth to others and to the rest utter bullshit. We’ve all heard this saying before and countless articles have been written on it. You’ll either agree or disagree with this statement. 

I,for one,am one of those that definitely believe that nice guys finish last. Do I consider myself to be a nice guy? Well,for the most part,I’d sure like to think so. Does this mean I’ve finished last? When it comes to relationships you can bet your last dollar I have. I mean I’m 40 years old,still single and have never really had a major long lasting relationship. 

Does this mean I’m going to sit here and moan and complain about my lack of luck with the ladies? Am I going to generalise and say that all women are exactly the same? Not quite. However,like countless guys that have found themselves in the same predicament,I have wondered about many things. 

Why is it that time after time women,in general,fall for the so-called bad boy? Why do they chase guys that tend to use and misuse them and are really only after one thing? Why,despite me showering them with attention and compliments,do I hardly get any in return? And lastly why oh why am I put in the friend zone,time after time,when they see how well I treat them and they know I’ll make a great partner?

 The easy answer would be to lay all the blame at the women’s doorstep. I could say that women have no idea what they missing out on and that they’re blind to see what we,as nice guys,have to offer.

Until recently I myself had found myself putting the blame on women where in fact the blame should be directed towards us as the guys. The truth why nice guys finish last is quite simple. 

I believe we become so completely focused on finding someone that we totally lose our true identity. We undervalue our own self-worth. We are so scared of ending up alone that in the end,we end up chasing all the wrong women. In so doing we allow ourselves to be taken advantage of because somehow it makes us feel needed. This will manifest itself over and over again. 

 Now,I’m not saying you should become a jerk or a player or the so called bad boy. I’m merely saying we should firstly be comfortable being alone. We should always know our own self-worth and never sell ourselves short. That way we won’t be chasing after the wrong women and when that happens we will have an opportunity to find that special one that deserves all you have to offer. 

Until we change the way we view ourselves and take pride with the fact that we are the so called nice guys I’m afraid to say we will indeed always finish last.

Guys do you agree or not? And ladies do you have any advice for us to help us avoid the pitfalls that most nice guys fall into? Please feel free to leave a comment
Till a next time. Ciao

Facing our fears and overcoming them…

Some might call me stupid but I’d like to believe that each one of us,on this journey called life,have one or other fear that we face that prevents us from becoming the best possible version of ourselves that we can. I don’t believe that anyone is born fearless but,rather,what separates people is their ability to face their fears and overcome them. 

I personally have many fears and I’ve avoided facing most of them simply thinking that by ignoring them they would disappear. That hasn’t quite turned out to be the case. The older I’ve become the more I’ve realised that by ignoring my fears all I’ve in fact done is kept myself from doing things and achieving goals. 

Fears of rejection and of ridicule can be counted amongst my many fears. The problem I’ve always had is that,due to my low self esteem,I’ve always connected my value to what others think of me. I think that’s why I’ve always avoided any type of public speaking or doing anything in front of a crowd of any size. It’s even affected my ability to chat to the opposite sex. The constant fear of ‘Oh my gosh,what will they think of me?’ or ‘ will she think I’m fat or ugly or boring?’ has prevented me from trying alot of new things and from meeting new people. 

Now,I’m lucky to have this one really special friend of mine and she has made me realise that I can’t really continue like this if i want to see a change in my life. She has challenged me to get out of my comfort zone and attempt things that I normally wouldn’t. All she tells me is ‘Go be the man’. She was the one that inspired me to start this blog. 

I suppose that without any action nothing would in fact change. It’s not to say that all of a sudden I no longer have these fears but at least I am trying. As a example of this I did something recently that really petrified me.

 My one hobby I have is latin american dancing and my trainer and partner have been trying to get me into competitive dancing again so I decided to bite the bullet and give it a go. My first competition was on Saturday and I can’t begin to tell you how nervous I was. My mouth was so dry and I thought I would make a real mess of it. Well would you believe it,but it went really well. We placed third but for me the bigger achievement was just getting on the floor and actually enjoying myself. 

It was a definite eye opener. The moment I decided ‘Fuck it’ and cared less of people’s opinion of me was the moment I was just able to be me and just enjoy the moment.

I think we all come to a point in our lives where we have to decide. Will we let fear rule us or will we actually try to overcome it? I guess each one of us defines courage differently but for me courage is defined as taking that first step into the unknown with nothing more than hope and faith that everything will be ok but also being safe in the knowledge that even if things don’t turn out the way that you wanted,at least you were willing to try and that you leave behind no regrets. 

Speaking from personal experience I can tell you that nothing is worse than looking back with regret. So my advice? Take that first step into the unknown. Take that leap of faith. Greatness is not achieved by not taking any risks. Risk failing because trust me if you do succeed the reward for overcoming your fear will be more than worth it. It has the potential to completely change your life.

So the question I ask you is,do you let fear rule your life or have you managed to overcome yours? Please drop me a comment and share with me your take on facing your fears and what you did to overcome it. 

Till the next time. Ciao

The way EYE see myself…

I’d like to think that while growing up,regardless of where in the world we find ourselves,each of us has certain factors that influence our personalities and shape the way we see ourselves the older we become. That’s why some people are extroverts and others are introverts,some ooze loads of confidence and others struggle with low self esteem. 

Although I personally am not completely useless at social events or gatherings I would definitely put myself down as more of an introvert than a extrovert and low self esteem is something I’ve struggled with my whole life. 

Now some might ask why. I’d like to think that 2 factors stand out above others and have shaped me into the person I am today. If you’ve read some of my previous posts you’ll know that I was really fat as a kid,so my weight has always been an issue. The other factor is that i am blind in one eye. It might not seem a big deal to others but to me it has played a huge role in how I see myself in the present day.

It’s been so long that I have no recollection of ever seeing out my left eye. I do know that around 5 years of age doctors found some sort of tumour on my optical nerve and decided the best course of action was to operate on it which left me unable to see our the eye. Not to seem ungrateful,being able to see out of just one eye,is better than having no sight at all.

It’s something I’ve come to terms with the older I’ve become but as a kid it did little for my confidence. The stares I received just caused me to withdraw more and more into my own world. I spent hours getting lost in books and television. I guessed it was a way of me escaping the real world and the people in it. 

So throughout the years I’ve always been very self conscious of the way I look. One sign of confidence is when people look you in the eyes when talking to you and that’s something I never did. I still don’t to be honest. 

My family and my few friends have accepted me the way I am but I still struggle in going out and meeting new people. I guess it’s one of the main reasons why I’m still single. We all know that confidence is an attractive quality and if you feel good about yourself than you bound to attract people to you. 

I guess it’s true what they say. What you project into the world is what actually happens. Project positive energy and a positive state of mind and good things are bound to happen while if you’re negative than negative things will almost certainly happen. Anyone will tell you its not fun being around someone that is permanently negative and nobody is going to love you if you don’t love yourself first. 

What I’m trying to say is that even though I might not see myself in a positive way I am aware of it and am trying to change that aspect of my life. I’m trying to better myself. I was made unique and even though I might have many imperfections I’d like to think I also have many great qualities that make me pretty special. 

So,in summing it up,all I’d like to say is that it doesn’t matter if you’re the confident type or one that has a low self esteem. We should never allow any factor to stop us attempting to be the best possible version of ourselves. Recognise that each one of us are different and that not all journeys are the same. We should never be competing with the Jones’s. The only person that we should be in competition with is ourselves and that each day we should try be a better person than the last.

Please feel free to drop a comment if you agree with me or even if you have suggestions on how I can improve on my confidence and how I see myself. I am open to suggestions. 

Till the next time. Ciao 

Epilepsy : my story…

‘You were making that weird noise again last night ‘ said my brother. Yeah whatever,you’re probably imagining things i thought to myself. At that time i had no idea that this would be the first signs of what would become a chronic illness. The fact is that i had woken up on a few occasions prior to that,with blood in my mouth and my tongue looking as if i had put it through a mincer,which had not set alarm bells ringing either.

I was 29 and in reasonably good health. I hadn’t seen my gp in years and didn’t have any reason to suspect anything was wrong. It all changed the day that i blacked out at work while sitting on a portuguese chair (2 coke crates on each other)and cracked my head on the floor. The amount of blood forced me to go get stitches and after the doctors’ examination and asking me about my general state of health i was diagnosed with epilepsy.

I was put on medication and to be honest didn’t think much of it. I knew nothing about the disease and nobody that suffered with it. According to myself it was just an inconvenience to take pills and that in time it would heal itself. Boy was i wrong.

The type of epilepsy i got meant i had no idea when or where it would happen. I could be having a normal conversation with someone and than wake up to the looks of concerned people and have no recollection of what had just happened.

This, in the course of a year,meant i was involved in 2 car accidents in which i had seizures while driving. After the second accident in which i wrote off a car and ended up in icu for almost 2 weeks i was no longer allowed to drive. My medication wasn’t increased and i thought we had it under control. Worse was to come.

31 December 2007. I was expecting a really busy day. Instead all i remember was that when i got to work my older brother told me i didn’t look too well and that i should go home. I awoke the 7th January 2008. I had no memory of what had taken place between those days. According to my family it’s better i didn’t know.

From that day on the neurologist treating me managed to get me on the right medication and with some tweaks to my diet (no caffeine or similar stimulants,no alcohol)I’ve been seizure free for 9 years.

The medication(Epilim) I’m on does have some side effects,which I’ll get into on another post. This is just my story on how epilepsy has impacted on my life and to give anyone that suffers with epilepsy,hope,that with the right precautions and treatment youll can live life to the fullest.