Facing our fears and overcoming them…

Some might call me stupid but I’d like to believe that each one of us,on this journey called life,have one or other fear that we face that prevents us from becoming the best possible version of ourselves that we can. I don’t believe that anyone is born fearless but,rather,what separates people is their ability to face their fears and overcome them. 

I personally have many fears and I’ve avoided facing most of them simply thinking that by ignoring them they would disappear. That hasn’t quite turned out to be the case. The older I’ve become the more I’ve realised that by ignoring my fears all I’ve in fact done is kept myself from doing things and achieving goals. 

Fears of rejection and of ridicule can be counted amongst my many fears. The problem I’ve always had is that,due to my low self esteem,I’ve always connected my value to what others think of me. I think that’s why I’ve always avoided any type of public speaking or doing anything in front of a crowd of any size. It’s even affected my ability to chat to the opposite sex. The constant fear of ‘Oh my gosh,what will they think of me?’ or ‘ will she think I’m fat or ugly or boring?’ has prevented me from trying alot of new things and from meeting new people. 

Now,I’m lucky to have this one really special friend of mine and she has made me realise that I can’t really continue like this if i want to see a change in my life. She has challenged me to get out of my comfort zone and attempt things that I normally wouldn’t. All she tells me is ‘Go be the man’. She was the one that inspired me to start this blog. 

I suppose that without any action nothing would in fact change. It’s not to say that all of a sudden I no longer have these fears but at least I am trying. As a example of this I did something recently that really petrified me.

 My one hobby I have is latin american dancing and my trainer and partner have been trying to get me into competitive dancing again so I decided to bite the bullet and give it a go. My first competition was on Saturday and I can’t begin to tell you how nervous I was. My mouth was so dry and I thought I would make a real mess of it. Well would you believe it,but it went really well. We placed third but for me the bigger achievement was just getting on the floor and actually enjoying myself. 

It was a definite eye opener. The moment I decided ‘Fuck it’ and cared less of people’s opinion of me was the moment I was just able to be me and just enjoy the moment.

I think we all come to a point in our lives where we have to decide. Will we let fear rule us or will we actually try to overcome it? I guess each one of us defines courage differently but for me courage is defined as taking that first step into the unknown with nothing more than hope and faith that everything will be ok but also being safe in the knowledge that even if things don’t turn out the way that you wanted,at least you were willing to try and that you leave behind no regrets. 

Speaking from personal experience I can tell you that nothing is worse than looking back with regret. So my advice? Take that first step into the unknown. Take that leap of faith. Greatness is not achieved by not taking any risks. Risk failing because trust me if you do succeed the reward for overcoming your fear will be more than worth it. It has the potential to completely change your life.

So the question I ask you is,do you let fear rule your life or have you managed to overcome yours? Please drop me a comment and share with me your take on facing your fears and what you did to overcome it. 

Till the next time. Ciao

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The way EYE see myself…

I’d like to think that while growing up,regardless of where in the world we find ourselves,each of us has certain factors that influence our personalities and shape the way we see ourselves the older we become. That’s why some people are extroverts and others are introverts,some ooze loads of confidence and others struggle with low self esteem. 

Although I personally am not completely useless at social events or gatherings I would definitely put myself down as more of an introvert than a extrovert and low self esteem is something I’ve struggled with my whole life. 

Now some might ask why. I’d like to think that 2 factors stand out above others and have shaped me into the person I am today. If you’ve read some of my previous posts you’ll know that I was really fat as a kid,so my weight has always been an issue. The other factor is that i am blind in one eye. It might not seem a big deal to others but to me it has played a huge role in how I see myself in the present day.

It’s been so long that I have no recollection of ever seeing out my left eye. I do know that around 5 years of age doctors found some sort of tumour on my optical nerve and decided the best course of action was to operate on it which left me unable to see our the eye. Not to seem ungrateful,being able to see out of just one eye,is better than having no sight at all.

It’s something I’ve come to terms with the older I’ve become but as a kid it did little for my confidence. The stares I received just caused me to withdraw more and more into my own world. I spent hours getting lost in books and television. I guessed it was a way of me escaping the real world and the people in it. 

So throughout the years I’ve always been very self conscious of the way I look. One sign of confidence is when people look you in the eyes when talking to you and that’s something I never did. I still don’t to be honest. 

My family and my few friends have accepted me the way I am but I still struggle in going out and meeting new people. I guess it’s one of the main reasons why I’m still single. We all know that confidence is an attractive quality and if you feel good about yourself than you bound to attract people to you. 

I guess it’s true what they say. What you project into the world is what actually happens. Project positive energy and a positive state of mind and good things are bound to happen while if you’re negative than negative things will almost certainly happen. Anyone will tell you its not fun being around someone that is permanently negative and nobody is going to love you if you don’t love yourself first. 

What I’m trying to say is that even though I might not see myself in a positive way I am aware of it and am trying to change that aspect of my life. I’m trying to better myself. I was made unique and even though I might have many imperfections I’d like to think I also have many great qualities that make me pretty special. 

So,in summing it up,all I’d like to say is that it doesn’t matter if you’re the confident type or one that has a low self esteem. We should never allow any factor to stop us attempting to be the best possible version of ourselves. Recognise that each one of us are different and that not all journeys are the same. We should never be competing with the Jones’s. The only person that we should be in competition with is ourselves and that each day we should try be a better person than the last.

Please feel free to drop a comment if you agree with me or even if you have suggestions on how I can improve on my confidence and how I see myself. I am open to suggestions. 

Till the next time. Ciao