Weekend getaway…


So it’s been almost two weeks since my last post. I can put it down to a few things but a lack of inspiration,a sudden addiction to a mobile racing game(CSR2) and lots of things to do at work(busy renovating the store) are factors that have all contributed to me being quiter than usual on my blog. 

This past weekend however has brought with it some new inspiration. I managed to organise a weekend getaway with some of the most awesome people I know. Note,a weekend isn’t usually long enough to recharge the batteries but on this little trip i sure was able to. 

Our setting for the weekend was the picturesque Rebellie Game farm situated in the quaint little town of Clarens in the Free State. The self catering lodge we stayed in was really amazing. From the cosy rooms to the fireplaces to the hot tub this place really does have it all. Best of all is the magnificent view. 

We arrived on the Friday evening but it wasn’t till sunset that we saw exactly how breathtaking the surroundings were. Saturday morning was spent having breakfast in town itself where everything is walking distance from each other. Lots of different shops make this an ideal place to browse for all types of  goodies. 


 We than took a long drive in which we went to the Golden Gate National Game Park. The scenery really does leave one in awe. We even went to the vulture restaurant where if you lucky you get to see different endangered species of vultures scavenging. 

After this,Lydia(my cousin Oscar’s awesome wife) organised that we spent part of the afternoon quad biking. This was such an unforgettable experience biking up the mountains and I had an unbelievable time. I can’t thank her enough for the treat. 

Having spent best part of the day busy with these activities we decided to head back to the lodge where we prepared food and quite simply enjoyed relaxing in the hot tub. 

Dinner under the stars waiting for the meteor showers was a brilliant way to end the evening. I spent Sunday morning packing up with a heavy heart before heading back home. The consensus was that everyone had a really great time and would most certainly come to this part of the world again. 

 There is one thing that i took away from this weekend. It doesn’t matter where you find yourself in the world that’s important. What’s important is the people that you find yourself surrounded by. This getaway simply wouldn’t have been the same with different people. 


I’m blessed to truly have amazing people in my life. To Jose,Oscar,Lydia,Felipe and Natashia thanks again for an incredible weekend. 

■ On a side note I can highly recommend staying at Rebellie Game farm. The fact that there’s no tv and mobile phone signal is almost non existent is a huge plus. For the traveler looking to get completely away from it all this is an ideal weekend getaway. Clarens is roughly 3 and a bit hours drive from Johannesburg. Having a land rover or other all terrain vehicle is a definite requirement in my opinion as lots of the roads are not tarred. 

Till next time. Ciao

Tired….

Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. Spiritually. TIRED. My whole being is tired. My soul is tired. I don’t know quiet how to explain it. I might be on the way to a burnout. One thing I know for sure is that I need a break. 

I don’t know if any of you reading this has experienced something similar but all I know is that something has got to give. I guess the easiest thing to do would be to blame everything and everyone for how I’m feeling. 

The only problem with doing that is I know I would be lying to myself. The only person I can blame for finding myself in this situation is me. I’ve allowed myself to get caught up in this same old boring rut that I know as my life and have done absolutely nothing to change it. 

Do I work a lot? Let’s just say I’m at work a lot. I’m by no means the hardest working person out there but I spend a great deal of time at work. I usually spend a minimum of 6 days of the week at work and every now and then even 7. I get 1 weekend a month off. 

Do I get vacations? Sure if i wanted to. Unfortunately the last holiday i was on was in 2011 when i went to England and Madeira. Now this will sound really stupid but it’s all my own fault. I’ve had numerous chances to go on holidays but have simply chosen not to. I’m a bit of an anomaly in that, yes I am a loner, but I like to have company around me. In other words I’m not the type of person that would go on holiday alone. In that case I would prefer to stay at home and just continue working. So work is not really to blame. 

As for my personal life its not much better. Due to the amount of time spent at work I don’t spend a great deal of time at home. I spend even less time socialising. The fact that I’m a bit of a loner obviously doesn’t help when it comes to meeting new people. I’m most comfortable sitting at home doing nothing. 

Does it surprise me than that I’m single? Absolutely not. Sitting at home is going to make sure I have zero chance of meeting new people and potential partners unless she happens to be a pizza delivery lady or something similar. Again I’ve had countless opportunities to go out and meet new people but I simply don’t. I sometimes can’t even muster up the energy to go to the cinema with friends. 

I’ve ignored the warning signs of a burnout for a long time but it’s finally dawned on me why things never change in my life. 

I have to take responsibility for my actions which affect my life. Blaming my circumstances around me and the people around me will not help. We can’t just coast through life doing nothing and than expect things to go our way. You can’t climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets. 

For me it means that I have to force myself to take more time off work. I have to learn to be more comfortable being by myself. Go on holidays by myself. If i want to meet new people it means that staying home is no longer going to be good enough. The world presents us with so many opportunities each and every day but we tend to not see them. 

My negative mindset has to change. If I can do this than it will have a massive impact on my life. So I’ve taken the first step in admitting that I’m to blame for my current situation. Being content with the status quo had got to go. Hopefully I can find the courage within to keep on working on improving myself and move forward. 

Do any of you have thoughts on how I can overcome this tiredness I feel and how I can go about changing things. Please feel free to drop me a message. Life is tough. Let’s try help each other along this journey. 
Till next time. Ciao


In the end…

Friday afternoon and its quiet enough for me to start this new post. The last 2 weeks have been a bit of struggle as far as inspiration goes for new posts.  Inspiring it definitely is not but devastating news from the music industry is the source of my post for today. The death of Linkin Park lead vocalist Chester Bennington is sending shockwaves worldwide. Suspected cause of death? SUICIDE…

Now I don’t profess to be the number 1 fan of the band but I liked enough of their music to know that his death is going to leave a void. At the relatively young age of 41 I think he still had plenty to offer. 

I guess when someone passes away unexpectedly it is rather difficult to understand why it happens and in the case of suicide(as it is being reported was the cause of death) than the questions are only doubled. When it the case of someone prominent and famous its even more so. 

I for one, and I would guess alot of other people, probably think that being well known and famous is the ideal life. I mean travelling the whole world, seeing all these exotic locations, being filthy rich and being adored by thousands of people who would want anything better. Famous people couldn’t have any real problems could they? Apart from being spotted in public that is. So why would someone famous commit suicide?

I don’t really have the answer to that to be honest. I guess we tend to forget that celebrities are just like us. Each person has their own fears and doubts and some have terrible demons that they have to fight each day.

 I’m not going to debate whether suicide is a selfish act or not. All I know is till we walk in someone else’s shoes we can’t judge. What might seem like a small matter to you might be a massive crisis to the next person. 

Personally I’ve had similar thoughts  of suicide in the past. When i felt tired. My soul. My body. My entire being. TIRED. I felt alone. I felt unloved and I questioned my existence and my reason for being. Luckily I managed to get past that difficult period but I know others aren’t as lucky. 

I’m fortunate to be blessed with amazing family and friends that accept me the way I am. Far from perfect I know I am and a real pain in the ass I can be sometimes. And I guess in that sense I’m more well off than many of those celebrities. I’m thankful for my circle. For those that support me no matter what. 

So to all that are fighting some inner demons all I know is that you can get through it. I hope your support group is as amazing and wonderful as the people I have in my life. In the end our loved ones are the ones that help us during our daily battles.

To everyone else out there please show some kindness and love to the family of Chester and to the band. Now is not the time to be hurling insults or judging his actions. 

 Till next time people. Ciao. 

RIP CHESTER. MAY GOD BE WITH THE FAMILY DURING THIS DIFFICULT TIME

The INGREDIENTS that make up GREATNESS…

Conor ‘ The Notorius’ McGregor vs Floyd ‘ Money Mayweather. This fight, happening August 26 in Las Vegas, between UFC’s biggest star and one of boxing all time greats has captured the public’s imagination and is currently one of the hottest trending topics worldwide. It is being touted as the biggest ever combat sports event with both fighters rumoured to be earning in excess of $100 million each. 

These fighters are considered by many to be once in a lifetime fighters in their respective sports. ‘ONCE IN A LIFETIME’. Now that is a massive statement to make about anyone and it got me thinking about how, not just these two but in all types of sport,certain sports stars have made the leap from being talented athletes to being rated as the best ever.

Michael Jordan

Wayne Gretzky

Muhammad Ali 

Roger Federer 

Pele

Being a bit of a sports nut I know that in all sports there are usually one or two players that are regarded as being the very best in that discipline. From Michael Jordan(basketball) to Wayne Gretzky(ice hockey) to Muhammad Ali(boxing) and Roger Federer (tennis) and Pele(soccer) to name but a few,these are all stars that are synonymous with their sport and are regarded as the very best in their field.  

So what does it take to become an icon and achieve immortal greatness you may ask? In my humble opinion there are 5 key ingredients that separates the good from the great.

   1 ■ HARD WORK. Sure, a God given talent is the foundation of every athlete but as many have found out, talent alone does not make one great. Hard work, and more specifically, the ability to work harder than their nearest rivals is the key. If someone is honing their skill for 6 or 7 hours a day they got to put in 9 and 10 hours to be better. 

2 ■ SELF BELIEF. This to me is probably the most important of them all. It is believing in their ability and talent 110%. It is not allowing any naysayer or anyone that doubts them to influence their thoughts.

3 ■ VISUALISATION. This goes hand in hand with number 2. Being able to visualise themselves achieving their goals is key. I’m a firm believer in the law of attraction. In other words what you believe, what thoughts you project is what you will attract to yourself. Be negative in anyway and nothing positive will ever come your way. Visualise greatness and you’ll definitely see positive things. It is something that Conor Mcgregor,for example,has managed to do this brilliantly. How else do you explain someone,that only 5 years ago was collecting welfare cheques all of a sudden headlining the biggest ever combat sports eventin history?

4 ■ HANDLING SETBACKS. Believe it or not but even the very best experience setbacks. They’re not machines even though at times it seems like it. If I may, let me use this famous quote from the movie Rocky Balboa. ‘… You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done! … ‘ This explains exactly what separates the normal from the great. 

5 ■ AMBITION & DRIVE. The very best always have a drive and ambition to be the very best. They are never satisfied with just winning. They want to completely dominate. For them being second is simply not good enough. They are self motivated to keep on achieving. It’s something that I personally think can’t be learned or taught. You’re either born with it or not.

Looking at these ingredients it is obvious to see that even though I might never become an elite athlete or sports star i can still learn some lessons from it. On the quest to become the best me I can,I know that if I’m able to incorporate these points I’ll be one step closer to my goal. 

I don’t believe that anyone of us were born to be mediocre. So let’s learn from the very best in sports and apply the same ingredients in our life so that we too can achieve greatness. 

Please feel free to share your thoughts on this and let me know whether you agree or not. I look forward to hearing from all of you. 

Till a next time. Ciao

P.S My money is on Conor Mcgregor to cause the biggest upset in sports history and beat Floyd Mayweather 

P


Technology at young age good or bad??

I recently turned 40 and boy do I sometimes feel old. The world certainly has changed since my childhood till now. I don’t know how others perceive it to be but for me it’s as if each year is going by quicker and quicker. I remember as a 6 and 7 year old how long school days used to last and it took forever for holidays, birthdays and the like to come around.

Some days i find myself reminiscing about my childhood and thinking about how different today’s children grow up compared to when I was a child. I don’t think most kids would recognise the world 30 or so years ago and whenever I find myself telling kids about my younger days you can see that they don’t know whether you are joking or telling the truth. 

Without doubt the biggest change from my childhood in comparison to today’s children has to be the rapid advancement of technology. It has completely changed how children see the world nowadays.  The birth of the internet has probably had the biggest impact. Mobile phones, computers, gaming consoles, televisions, etc are just a few more examples.

I grew up in a small town in South Africa back in the 1980’s and trust me,South Africa back than was a total different country to what it is now. I don’t just mean politically. Even though television came into the country around the time I was born I can still remember the days before my parent’s owned one. 


To be honest though,I, like most kids didn’t spend a great deal of time indoors. Unless I was sick you would find me with all the neighborhood’s kids playing outside. I suppose times were safer but parents didn’t worry about kids getting kidnapped and almost everyone knew who their neighbours were. Riding bicycles , climbing trees, playing intense games of soccer or cricket in the backyard was just some of the activities that we as kids would do. 


On rainy days you would find me,either at the library or at home,getting lost in the magical world of books or visiting friends and playing some or other board game. Writing letters to friends and family that stayed far away was also something I remember enjoying. 


Fast forward to the present day and things couldn’t be anymore different. Walk through neighbourhoods and you won’t see large gatherings of children playing in the parks or riding bicycles or being loud and active outdoors. Libraries hardly exist anymore and kids, in general,never visit them.


I know the world is a much more dangerous place so kids are rarely found outdoors nowadays. They either spend hours and hours glued in front of a TV set or on their Xboxes and PlayStations and laptops but even if you come across them all you see is heads bowed down with them all on mobile phones blissfully unaware or uninterested in their surroundings. Ironic,isn’t it,that the one thing that was designed to make socialising easier has in fact had the opposite effect.

So call me old fashioned but for all the good that technology brings with it i also think that there’s a definite downside which has the twin affect of both stifling creativity and imagination in children as well a making them less social. 

I guess the question to be asking is whether we prefer kids to be like this or not. After all the kids of today will be the adults of tomorrow. 

Shouldn’t we be encouraging kids to read more books instead of surfing the internet? Shouldn’t we let them be outside being active instead of spending hours on a couch in front of the TV?Shouldn’t they be making friends instead of spending most of the day one a mobile phone being anti social? I know what my answer is.

So drop me a comment. Should we encourage kids to be tech savvy at a young age or should we delay it?What is your take on the matter?

Till the next time. Ciao

Nice guys do INDEED finish last…

Bold statement to some,truth to others and to the rest utter bullshit. We’ve all heard this saying before and countless articles have been written on it. You’ll either agree or disagree with this statement. 

I,for one,am one of those that definitely believe that nice guys finish last. Do I consider myself to be a nice guy? Well,for the most part,I’d sure like to think so. Does this mean I’ve finished last? When it comes to relationships you can bet your last dollar I have. I mean I’m 40 years old,still single and have never really had a major long lasting relationship. 

Does this mean I’m going to sit here and moan and complain about my lack of luck with the ladies? Am I going to generalise and say that all women are exactly the same? Not quite. However,like countless guys that have found themselves in the same predicament,I have wondered about many things. 

Why is it that time after time women,in general,fall for the so-called bad boy? Why do they chase guys that tend to use and misuse them and are really only after one thing? Why,despite me showering them with attention and compliments,do I hardly get any in return? And lastly why oh why am I put in the friend zone,time after time,when they see how well I treat them and they know I’ll make a great partner?

 The easy answer would be to lay all the blame at the women’s doorstep. I could say that women have no idea what they missing out on and that they’re blind to see what we,as nice guys,have to offer.

Until recently I myself had found myself putting the blame on women where in fact the blame should be directed towards us as the guys. The truth why nice guys finish last is quite simple. 

I believe we become so completely focused on finding someone that we totally lose our true identity. We undervalue our own self-worth. We are so scared of ending up alone that in the end,we end up chasing all the wrong women. In so doing we allow ourselves to be taken advantage of because somehow it makes us feel needed. This will manifest itself over and over again. 

 Now,I’m not saying you should become a jerk or a player or the so called bad boy. I’m merely saying we should firstly be comfortable being alone. We should always know our own self-worth and never sell ourselves short. That way we won’t be chasing after the wrong women and when that happens we will have an opportunity to find that special one that deserves all you have to offer. 

Until we change the way we view ourselves and take pride with the fact that we are the so called nice guys I’m afraid to say we will indeed always finish last.

Guys do you agree or not? And ladies do you have any advice for us to help us avoid the pitfalls that most nice guys fall into? Please feel free to leave a comment
Till a next time. Ciao

Facing our fears and overcoming them…

Some might call me stupid but I’d like to believe that each one of us,on this journey called life,have one or other fear that we face that prevents us from becoming the best possible version of ourselves that we can. I don’t believe that anyone is born fearless but,rather,what separates people is their ability to face their fears and overcome them. 

I personally have many fears and I’ve avoided facing most of them simply thinking that by ignoring them they would disappear. That hasn’t quite turned out to be the case. The older I’ve become the more I’ve realised that by ignoring my fears all I’ve in fact done is kept myself from doing things and achieving goals. 

Fears of rejection and of ridicule can be counted amongst my many fears. The problem I’ve always had is that,due to my low self esteem,I’ve always connected my value to what others think of me. I think that’s why I’ve always avoided any type of public speaking or doing anything in front of a crowd of any size. It’s even affected my ability to chat to the opposite sex. The constant fear of ‘Oh my gosh,what will they think of me?’ or ‘ will she think I’m fat or ugly or boring?’ has prevented me from trying alot of new things and from meeting new people. 

Now,I’m lucky to have this one really special friend of mine and she has made me realise that I can’t really continue like this if i want to see a change in my life. She has challenged me to get out of my comfort zone and attempt things that I normally wouldn’t. All she tells me is ‘Go be the man’. She was the one that inspired me to start this blog. 

I suppose that without any action nothing would in fact change. It’s not to say that all of a sudden I no longer have these fears but at least I am trying. As a example of this I did something recently that really petrified me.

 My one hobby I have is latin american dancing and my trainer and partner have been trying to get me into competitive dancing again so I decided to bite the bullet and give it a go. My first competition was on Saturday and I can’t begin to tell you how nervous I was. My mouth was so dry and I thought I would make a real mess of it. Well would you believe it,but it went really well. We placed third but for me the bigger achievement was just getting on the floor and actually enjoying myself. 

It was a definite eye opener. The moment I decided ‘Fuck it’ and cared less of people’s opinion of me was the moment I was just able to be me and just enjoy the moment.

I think we all come to a point in our lives where we have to decide. Will we let fear rule us or will we actually try to overcome it? I guess each one of us defines courage differently but for me courage is defined as taking that first step into the unknown with nothing more than hope and faith that everything will be ok but also being safe in the knowledge that even if things don’t turn out the way that you wanted,at least you were willing to try and that you leave behind no regrets. 

Speaking from personal experience I can tell you that nothing is worse than looking back with regret. So my advice? Take that first step into the unknown. Take that leap of faith. Greatness is not achieved by not taking any risks. Risk failing because trust me if you do succeed the reward for overcoming your fear will be more than worth it. It has the potential to completely change your life.

So the question I ask you is,do you let fear rule your life or have you managed to overcome yours? Please drop me a comment and share with me your take on facing your fears and what you did to overcome it. 

Till the next time. Ciao

The way EYE see myself…

I’d like to think that while growing up,regardless of where in the world we find ourselves,each of us has certain factors that influence our personalities and shape the way we see ourselves the older we become. That’s why some people are extroverts and others are introverts,some ooze loads of confidence and others struggle with low self esteem. 

Although I personally am not completely useless at social events or gatherings I would definitely put myself down as more of an introvert than a extrovert and low self esteem is something I’ve struggled with my whole life. 

Now some might ask why. I’d like to think that 2 factors stand out above others and have shaped me into the person I am today. If you’ve read some of my previous posts you’ll know that I was really fat as a kid,so my weight has always been an issue. The other factor is that i am blind in one eye. It might not seem a big deal to others but to me it has played a huge role in how I see myself in the present day.

It’s been so long that I have no recollection of ever seeing out my left eye. I do know that around 5 years of age doctors found some sort of tumour on my optical nerve and decided the best course of action was to operate on it which left me unable to see our the eye. Not to seem ungrateful,being able to see out of just one eye,is better than having no sight at all.

It’s something I’ve come to terms with the older I’ve become but as a kid it did little for my confidence. The stares I received just caused me to withdraw more and more into my own world. I spent hours getting lost in books and television. I guessed it was a way of me escaping the real world and the people in it. 

So throughout the years I’ve always been very self conscious of the way I look. One sign of confidence is when people look you in the eyes when talking to you and that’s something I never did. I still don’t to be honest. 

My family and my few friends have accepted me the way I am but I still struggle in going out and meeting new people. I guess it’s one of the main reasons why I’m still single. We all know that confidence is an attractive quality and if you feel good about yourself than you bound to attract people to you. 

I guess it’s true what they say. What you project into the world is what actually happens. Project positive energy and a positive state of mind and good things are bound to happen while if you’re negative than negative things will almost certainly happen. Anyone will tell you its not fun being around someone that is permanently negative and nobody is going to love you if you don’t love yourself first. 

What I’m trying to say is that even though I might not see myself in a positive way I am aware of it and am trying to change that aspect of my life. I’m trying to better myself. I was made unique and even though I might have many imperfections I’d like to think I also have many great qualities that make me pretty special. 

So,in summing it up,all I’d like to say is that it doesn’t matter if you’re the confident type or one that has a low self esteem. We should never allow any factor to stop us attempting to be the best possible version of ourselves. Recognise that each one of us are different and that not all journeys are the same. We should never be competing with the Jones’s. The only person that we should be in competition with is ourselves and that each day we should try be a better person than the last.

Please feel free to drop a comment if you agree with me or even if you have suggestions on how I can improve on my confidence and how I see myself. I am open to suggestions. 

Till the next time. Ciao 

WORDS : Do we even realise it’s true power?

I’m sure we’ve all heard the old saying ‘ Sticks and Stones may break my bones,but words will never hurt me. ‘ Unfortunately in my experience I have found this to be far from the truth. The truth is most people underestimate the power of words and the harm it can cause others.

Words might not hurt physically,like when someone throws a stone at you,but it can definitely have a major effect on someone and leave scars that last a lifetime. 

I,for one,usually have the problem of saying something before thinking if it will be hurtful or not to someone else. It’s amazing to think of the impact of what you say to someone else can have in their life. 

If used in the correct way,what we say to someone can build them up and motivate them and make them believe in themselves. With the right encouragement you will be able to see that person make an incredible transformation to the best possible version of themselves where they,in turn,will pay it forward and have a positive impact on someone else’s life. 

On the other hand if used incorrectly,what you say can have a major negative impact on a person’s life. How many times have we heard of people that bully others? Do we even think of what a person that gets called fat or ugly or gay goes through? These hurtful words is something that can linger on for many years and definitely shape how a person grows up? 

If you grow up and all you hear over and over is that you’re no good or that one of your so-called imperfections are repeatedly reinforced upon than you can just imagine how this will affect you. We have even heard of suicides where seemingly normal people with no known problems commit suicide out the blue. 

I guess what I’m trying to say is that we should all be careful when we speak. We should all use our words to try build people up,to help them and to motivate them to do positive things in society,instead of breaking them down. We might not be able to change the world on our own but if we can have a positive impact on just those that we come into contact with in our daily lives than that change will happen in time. 

Try spread the love people. God knows,this world is in desperate need of it. 

Till next time ciao

Dating tips and advice for a 40 year old?

Dating advice and tips. If there is one subject on which numerous articles have been written on,then this would be it. Google or Youtube the term ‘dating advice’ or ‘dating tips’ and you’ll see exactly what I mean. Around each corner there is some or other expert that claim that they have the exact answer on what will or won’t work. 

Am I another one of those so called experts? Hardly…I’ve been single for such a long time that I’ve almost forgotten what it’s like to go on a proper date. Lol. So why write the post you might think. I was thinking it could be a case of us exchanging words of wisdom and advice.  

You might call me old fashioned but it’s as if everything surrounding dating has changed. Everything from where to meet people to whether or not to phone the other person the day after a date has changed. 

Finding someone that’s worth spending your time and effort on is difficult enough,but doing it once you reach 40 is even more so. We’re in a different stage of our lives with most of us looking for a serious commitment.

So,in saying all of this,what should one do if you were to meet someone that you like and they agreed to go out on a date with you. I’ll be sharing some of my advice and tips for a first date. This advice will be mostly for men but ladies please feel free to leave comments on what women should be doing on a first date. So without further ado here is my top 5 tips and advice for a first date :

■ MAKE SOME EFFORT. If the lady has agreed to go out on a date with you the bare minimum you should do is put in some effort. Shave, wear a nice smelling cologne, wear clothes that are appropriate for the setting (Don’t go wearing a pair of shorts and sandals to a nice restaurant for example).Women tend to like it when it looks like you’ve taken the time and put in a decent amount of effort. 

■ PAY FOR THE BILL. Now this might seem old fashioned but I still believe the man should pay on the first date. Even though women are earning the same as men in alot of cases or even if she earns more than you,don’t be that douche that makes a women pay. 

■ BE UPFRONT AND HONEST. This should be a no-brainer but yet I think it’s the one area from which most problems stem from. Just be honest with the woman. If you are just looking for a good time and are not looking for a long term commitment let that be known. If a long term relationship is what you are interested in also let that be known. This way there can be no confusion as to what people are looking for. What anyone gets from not being truthful goes beyond me.

■ ACCEPT THAT MOST PEOPLE COME WITH BAGGAGE. Let’s be realistic about this one. Most people that are 40+ come with some form of baggage. There’s been relationships or marriages that haven’t worked out,for some or other reason. There might be children involved. Adult life happens and each person deals with it differently. Everybody,including yourself,has baggage. 

■ DON’T BRING UP YOUR EXES. Unless she specifically asks about it do not,and I repeat,do not bring up the topic of your ex during the date. If it does come up be sure to let it be known that they no longer a part of your life and that it didn’t work out for a reason. Don’t go bad mouthing her and calling her bad names etc. This will immediately put up warning signs to the woman that you don’t handle conflict very well and that you don’t forgive or forget if a relationship doesn’t work out. 

Do these tips even apply nowadays? Am I completely missing the boat? Do you gents and ladies have any words of wisdom and advice to share? Please drop a comment and let us see if any of this can come in handy as us 40 year olds’ explore the dating scene…

Till the next time..ciao